The summer months are once again the time for weddings. The last few weeks have been dominated by discussions in the media about the church, the cross, and christian symbolism. In the end it was about the value of faith and church in general. The impression has been given several times that the church is only concerned with the correct performance of its rites, and that the people standing before the altar (or the pastor) are of secondary importance. In contrast, the providers of free weddings (not infrequently theologians who have left the service of the church) were very intensively responsive to the wedding couples and then designed a personalized wedding, responding to all wishes and ideas. A couple that is having a church wedding writes the following: "the articles suggest that free weddings have a high degree of flexibility and that church weddings, on the other hand, are rigid and monotonous. In our wedding conversation, but also in other church weddings, we have had the experience that the pastors are very interested in the life story of the bridal couples and largely respond to their wishes regarding the wedding ceremony."
I ask the following questions during a wedding interview, for example: how did you get to know each other?? Why did you like to get married in church?? Where do you see your similarities? Where do you see your differences? What family situation do you come from? Addressing the bride: why HE of all people?? – and vice versa: why YOU? What are you arguing about? Which of the two gives way? What are your vacation ideas? What common goals do you have? Similar wedding ceremonies are sure to be held in other parish offices. A church wedding is about placing the life of the individual in the rough framework of god’s grace and love. And this is – of course – also reflected in certain rites that convey security and a feeling of safety. These rites are central, but they have a serving function: the couple is assured of god’s help, the couple is told that togetherness in all its facets (including sexuality) is a gift!) is a good thing, wanted by god. Looks so an "impersonal wedding from?
It seems to me that some couples reenact movies, series or what they have seen at other weddings, but that this show has nothing (or very little) to do with their own lives. There are golden gates erected, behind which stand simple hats …
A church wedding is more honest, because it is simpler. Wedding ceremony is not a show. Marriage is the request for god’s guidance in the face of an uncertain future. But unfortunately, today’s people are hardly determined by tradition, but very much by the media. Whether this helps more?
Heinrich arnold is a protestant pastor in untersiemau.